Bluegate Crossing

Be still, and wait without hope

For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love

For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith

But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.

Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:

So the dardness shall be the light, the the stillness the dancing.

It is the poem which almost drive me mad in these days.

From the day I came back,  I always feel tired, especially after my interview of PBC in Fuzhou. It is really exhausting all of these days. Obviously, I'm not a strong girl physically. No matter how early I go to bed, I wake up at  10 am or later... Just like a pig, does nothing but sleeping and eating. However, there's still no hint of fatness.

I decided to concentrate all my rest time on dissertation, forgetting the interview or the result.  And I do believe that life will return my efforts.

OK, I think I should write something, or maybe someone will break into my house and shoot me...Oh, that would be a terrible thing, heihei. So in order to save my life, and keep someone away from prison, I just write sth:)

These days I kept watching a very popular TV show in US, named ' The Apprentice '. Today I just finish the first season, as a TV show, that's not bad, but you could never learn any thing about operating a company from that show. All you could see is fight among these cute girls and guys.  Also, I really doubt the unbelievable background of thes guys. I consider these guys maybe the actor.

Actually, I always have a conception that Americans are a bit stupid. I really could not see any creative ideas in these people although some of them are Harvard MBA, some of them are consultant of White House, some of them a the young CEO. And their American style business would not so exciting.So I am very curious that how US become the super empire in this world.OK, I am too serious, just a TV show,  the real business of the US would not like that.

Someone got the bonus, she said *K. Of course I know it's *K...Who should treat a dinner, I think this problem should be reconsidered, HOHO. Maybe in the long vacation of 51, I will travel to the Mongolia. It's a long time since I last long travel...

OK, blog in English is not a difficult thing. keke....

Seems it has been long since other two guys blogged here. They are venial.One falls in sweet love, the other, in yummy foods, maybe.:D Keep fit, papaya oppa!!! Come on...Who said he wanted to write an blog to practise English? AND who asked papaya and me to let her join this blog? AND NOW...Where are you then....T.T

It is a little late to say happy new yere,however. I changed the mode and hoped it looked better. The clouds are cute, aren't they? Holidays always elapse quickly. And I have come back to my damned work. The first day is boring..boring...nothing but boring. And something even sucks is that today is sunday. That means I have to work for another five days before another weekend's coming. ㅠ.ㅠ

Anyway,however,after all, wish all you guys a happy and sweet new year!!! 새해 복 많이 받으세요!

Good night.

p.s: bloggin' in English could be easy..keke.

I think everyone who cares about the media in China have know the incident of Bejing News(新京报) recently.If you want to be a real journalists in China, that would be your destiny.

They said, our media environment is one of the best in this world, we people are living in a free country.....Actually, the real fact is: when global medias were reporting this event, our medias kept silent about that. That means even if the whole world knows this news, most of we Chinese people would still do not know what happen in this so-called FREE COUNTRY. I really curious that how they could said such a shameless words to the public, to the whole world. Actually, I begin to admire  them...They can say something that is totally not true to people, to the world, and the most important is that they would not feel guilty, they would not feel shame to themselve. I suddenly realized that what the real mean that said by Kuomintang government in the past. They said communist was made by special material. Yeah, they are special material. I really really completely admire them...

The fact in China is that: if you want to say something true, you have to get out, out of the media. Our media would not allow you to say what you want to say.  Once a bold media came out, they always could think about thousands of excuses to kill it. So, why not we stop develop newspapers, magazines, TV stations and broadcast stations. We people could read only one paper called Renmin Daily, watch one channel called CCTV. Then the things would get more easy,  and they can save money for their malversation. Oh, that might be a wonderland to them. Why not?

I think they should think of my idea seriously.

Joan Baez - Where have all the flowers gone

I have not caught a cold for a long time. But this time, it invaded into my body and made me suffer badly. I just could breathe with my mouth but not nose. It's terrible indeed. So I have to spend the Christmas with cold. What a pity! I want to enjoy a healthy Christmas.....

Thank somebody to spend the  Christmas Eve with me. Hope me get an offer before the New Year.

I'm planning to watch Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles（千里走单骑）no next Tuesday. Hope it will be a surprise.

Such a long time not to write something in Bluegate. Felt a bit sorry to Bluegate, actually, I did not forget her, but just did not know what to write. So, today had a good chance, I listened to a good lecture. I think it's worthy to write down.

The topic of the lecture is Hedonomics. Maybe for most of people, it is a new conception. The speaker is the professor of Chicago University, who is also a Chinese, but got the phd in Yale University. And now, he is the lifetime professor of CU, his name is Christopher K. Hsee.

What is Hedonomics? In short, hedonomics is the subject about how to make more people get more happiness. According to his research, as the growth of GDP, more and more people get more money, but their feeling of happiness keep in a relative stabilization.

How to detect the feeling of happiness? He believed that self report would be the vital source of the research. He did the statistical method to study the Hedonomics. I felt a bit fearful. Because happiness is one kind of feeling in human nature. Basically, such feeling things would hardly be statistic. However, now, happiness, such a philosophic conception becomes a number sign. Sigh...social science is so valueless....

Contrast and Adaption. It is a important conception of Hedonomics, that is also a easy example in this field. Take an example, when put your figure into a hot water, you would feel uncomfortable, that is Contrast. But after a few minute, you might get use to this kind of feeling, that is Adaption. The same reason is the happiness. According to the research, the one who win the lottery would not keep his or her happiness for a long time, just after 6 month the standard of his or her happiness would be the same as the ordinary people again.

In short, how get more happiness？Pursue the good things which you would hardly adapt, and elude the bad things that you would hardly adapt.

I'm too tired, so just write a little, maybe someday I could continue to discuss this topic....

The news that I am now working for a fashion corporation surprised almost all my friends. Not because of the fashion corporation,but me. In their impression, I am a person totally has no any connection with fashion. And that is the fact. Although it is also not my initial anticipation, at last I am here, and have been here for more than half an year. I learnt a lot about this field, clothes, fabrics, process etc. and the most important is,I got my idea on fashion.

First of all, what fashion stands for? Fashion stands for in, new, fresh and popular. It is a saying that fashion is nothing else than the colors and their combinations resulted from the discussion of top designers one year before the season`s coming. That is true. It is Fall 2005 now. However, we have started to proceed in the Fall 2006 design. It means that people can only follow and never catch up with fashion, of course, except they are top designers theirselves. And even they are designers and they know something is going to be a fashion, there is a absurdity that it has not been fashion yet. So, is it ridiculous to be a pug of fashion?

For me, fashion means personal styles. And that would be the initial target that designers want to achieve. A proper style will make a person looks clear. However, don not keep a style for long when don not change a style evermore. When I walk on the Zhongshan Rt., there are all kinds of strange girls pass by and it really sucks. We are alive! And why make yourself look like barbie dolls? It is really stupid.

Be yourself, that is an external and unchangeable fashion.

I have not bought any book for a long time. It happened  to be the time when O2Sun book store began to change it's VIP card, so I  decided to buy Moment in Peking (English version).

I did not read the chinese version before, just watched the TV play long long ago, and have almost forgotten the whole story.  Lin Yutang is a special man in chinese literature history, and this novel used to be candidacy for Nobel Prize. Hope I will read through it, nomatter how much time and energy will be spent.

Deloitte's offers are being informed, I did not receive yet. However, I still have some indescribable hope. Maybe it's very very tiny, but I'll never give it up. Tomorrow is another day, offer will be mine.

I felt a bit lost these days after the test of GRE and TOEFL. I know that I should study hard in my own field, however, there is not a obvious target to drive me study hard like I was preparing GT. I have no  enough motivity to go to the libary everyday when I was free.

I also knew that I should not relax, the application to the US college is a long journey, but I still could concentrate my mind in the academic field. I think about why I can not focus myself to the academic field, and finally, I got the answer.

Because the my aim to the US is not for academia but just want to see how powerful of the US, and consider it as a long trip to the US. Under my mind, maybe I don't care about the academia at all, I just use it as a excuse to tell my parents, to tell everyone that why I want to go to the US. I realized that perhaps my motivation is totally wrong. If I really don't want to go to US to study more knowledge, then why should I go there? I really admire Nancy, she could really do the research in academic field, she is the real one who should go to the no matter HK which is the best place to study social science in the Chinese World or US which has the most developed education system in this world.

I think I should adjust my aim to the US,  I should quickly get out the confused situation.

Life is full of challenges. Whatever, don not forget to take a breath and you may find there are some cute guys surrounding you.

Bee Gees: How Deep Is Your Love. One of my favorite songs.

Get lyrics here

I still remember that day which I met with poets. After stayed in the library for a half day, I was totally bored and decided to go out for a breath. On my way to M, I dropped in Xiaofeng Bookstore and bought  " Stray Birds", without any reason. It was the first time I treated poets as poets, but not  homeworks or something. And it is also the first time I felt the power of poets. It really filled me with peace and tranquility. 

When read slimair`s post, I know it is a poet what she need. It is from "GITANJALI", called "Give Me Strength".

This is my prayer to thee, my lord---strike, strike at the root of penury in my heart.

Give me the strength lightly to bear my joys and sorrows.

Give me the strength to make my love fruitful in service.

Give me strength never to disown the poor or bend my knees before insolent might.

Give me the strength to raise my mind high above daily trifles.

And give me the strength to surrender my strength to thy will with love.

Papayasun invited me into this team when I was worried about my possibility of KPMG's interview. I really want to be happy, but in fact I'm upset desperately.It's quite wierd because after I finished the written test, I was confident of myself, but with the time went by, I became not sure of everything. I'm meeting another gate in my life, which I've never been there before. No one told me how to handle, no one will. I'm on my way to an unknown future, God bless me......

However, thank papaya and nancy's kindness to allow me to grumble here. Bless you all. :)

Things always come by accident, such as the change of the season. Only in a night, winter of 2005 comes. Yesterday, I could still wear a jacket, but today I should wear the overcoat. If the weather forecast could be correct, today, the temperature of Shanghai would down to zero.

This morning, I bought the magazine which the experters of the CSFB recommended, and that is also the best political magazine in China, Caijing Magazine（财经）. Quick through the magazine in the bus, I felt so lucky that I could still read so many articles that are courageous and upright in a Chinese magazine. However,  I also believe that the consequence of this brave, honest magazine would be the same as Nanfang Weekend（南方周末）. It would not last too long in future. In this magazine, the reporter even blames the operations and policies in dealing with the contaminated problem of  Songhua River. I don't know how could the government tolerate the publishing of Caijing. But the future of this magazine might be not so bright. Since Nanfang Weekend has been dead, Caijing takes over the responsibility of what responsible media should do. Best wishes to Caijing Magazine!

By the way, there is not any responsible and forceful media in Shanghai. In Beijing, there are Caijing Magazine, Beijing News Daily（新京报）. In Guangzhou, there are Nanfang Weekend(even it has been dead for a long time, however it is a landmark in Chinese Media) , Nanfeng Magazine（南风窗）, South News Daily（南方都市报）. Nevertheless, Shanghai, as the biggest city, and the most powerful city in China. There is not a influencing media to the whole state. What a shame!

It may be boring to read such a blog. However, it is helpful. Listen to the song and take it easy.

Richard Marx " Now and Forever". Sweet and romantic.

Copyright@Papaya

These days I attend a programme in Fudan University, called" Fudan University- Financial Times- Credit Suisse Finacial Journalism Programme"Great great great gains...I would write some feelings, notes and gains in this programme, and I would write them in English, because the whole programme is almost given by English.

1、The most thing impress me is that this programme give me a good chance to know the general conceptions of  Western Press.The editor of Financial Times in London who is a nice UK gentlerman's saying deeply touch me, he said :"A newspaper is not a mouthpiece for selfinterested groups but inform the readers.The following is my notes：However, in China, the situation is just opposed. Our newspaper is the mouthpiece for specific groups, such as parties……I absolutely agree with the conception which is holding by Financial Times. We do not have to investigate if they achieve the object,(actually, to some extent, I believe they do), just holding this kind of concept is more advance than our news conception.

And the old gentleman also said:" If the fact is true, everyone has the rights to write it down and print it."The following is my notes：I don't believe in China, this assertion would be agree by our government, even in the constitution of PRC, we did have these rights.

2、In Financial Times, no matter the editors or  the journalists all emphasizes one problem The reporter should get two sources of the story, otherwise, in the normal situation, no matter how big the story, the article would not be formed. But  Chinese newspapers, as my own experience, most of the journalist have no this concept. Sometimes our journalist even like to write fake news. So I think that is not a personal problem, that is the problem of our education of jouralism, and the notion of our jouralism has big problem.

3、After the amazing lecture by Dong Tao who is the Managing Director of CSFB, I almost fall in love with economy. The economy is so useful. I have regreted that I did not learn hard in undergraduate course. Anyway, I would learn more about economy in future. Let me start from The Wealth Of The Nations.

4、In the lecture, the chief editor of Financial Times(FT) Asia Edition emphasized an element of the success of FT, which impressed me very much. He said that on of the element of the success of FT is CONSISTENCE. He also showed up the picture of the original edition of FT. From the picture we can see that there are not many changes in FT in these 100 years. Of course, as the development of the technology, the color, the print skill, and the photos of FT changes a lot. However, the most important thing is that, the format of FT almost did not change in 100 years.
 
On the contrary, the Chinese medias always change from time to time. When I was a intern in Shanghai Evening Post, just in a month, they had a big change in newspaper format. It just a simple example to prove that how often the changes in Chinese newspaper. The more serious problem is that no matter newspaper or magzines or TVs, every aspect of the mass media changes a lot. Some times the editor of the Chinese newspapers complain that Chinese newspaper readers are not the loyal reader. But the problem is, you always change your format, your content. How to cultivate the loyal readers? How readers evaluate the newspaper?
 
Nevertheless, we could not blame Chinese medias for their changes. In China, everything is chaging quickly, people change, companies change, even the policies of government change. Under this disordered background, newspapers are hard to keep consistence.
 
But, if the newspapers wanne to cultivate loyal readers, Chinese media want to has their own FT or WSJ, they should keep consistence.

5、Even the economist of CSFB emphisized that Chinese economy is powerful and exciting in future. But I doubt that. Obviously, Chinese economy has achieved great development in the past 20 years, however, there are countless and serious problems in the process. I consider that the foreign banker just want to use this opporunity to earn as much money as they could from China. Then left the problem to Chinese people to Chinese government. I think, we should be careful about the aggrandizement in Western Media.
 
6、Chinese government is a huge government. She want to manage almost every aspect of the whole country. If Beijing could let more business to be their own way which they should be, I believe that the Chinese economy would be more healthy. Just leave the business alone....

Copyright@nancylin

Since patriarchy has been found thousands of years ago, human-being, men and women, have created a consciousness that this world  is dominated by men and an accomplished fact that consciousness of men were consistent with it of human-being together. Moreover, it has exerted a subtle influence on the members of societies through moralization. The fact has been tracked in the original materials.

In the Holy Bible, the LORD GOD created Eden, Eden procreated Cain, Cain procreated Enoch, Enoch procreated Irad. We could mouse out the connotative narrative intention through the external texture of the myth. First of all, men were enable to give birth to offspring. We can find that the writer even deprived the ability of fertility from women. To some extent, women, the moms, had been excluded out of filiation.

Nietzsche, the famous philosopher said: Man created a female visualization for himself. Then imitating the visualization, woman created herself. Women are always expected to be tender and docile, to be ancillas of their fathers, husbands and sons.

In the last class, Norris told us a story about the blank slate. Now, I want to show you another similar example. That is, the only emperor of ancient China, Wu Zetian. What I want to talk about is her tombstone on which there is no even a character. However, I don not think the connotation is blank as it appears. In fact, the meanings is contained in the blank. The blank is actual an allegoric existent mode and own writing symbol of women in historical discourse. The blank and the phenomenon of Wu Zhetian became expressions of Chinese women collective consciousness and the symbol of Chinese women` s living predicament. It must embody and inherit itself with some faraway female tradition. At the same time, it passed on a non-writing, non-reading, non-listening fashion to its inheritors and more than that, to be a totem of the world in future. Not be written, then not be read, they are the real connotation of the blank tombstone.

We see all the hidden stories through no story. We hear all the latent sound in the quietude. We feel all possible tints out of no-color. In the blank, we wake up to the special female writing. That is, the painful history that women who hold a half amount of human-being have been robbed possessed and in thrall, just for maintaining man-domination. Their soul is crying at a long distance from their beautiful bodies. We also know, the blank is actual a sober (clever) choice of their natural soul and culture bodies. It is the only way for them to live.

She (WU) indicated her resistant attitude to the folk by entering the core of power in a way which was expected by culture. Meanwhile, she also put the history into an dilemma unexpectedly and tough.

The blank slate is only one of accesses to resist patriarchy. As we know, the literature works have showed many other ways. However, some of them are really extreme. For example, women killed their children and husbands to retaliate such as the famous myth of Greek, media. She had no choice but to do this to bring forth herself, to retaliate her husband` s family who did not treat her as a human-being and her family who flung and abandoned her. It was an indirect countermeasure by lowly women. And it also indicated a resistant consciousness and trend which were contorted by man’s power. Accordingly, killing husbands indicated a facedown. It also means some women had gained the courage to face the dominator and show their resolution.

I want to end my presentation with lyrics:

Home is behind

The world ahead

And there are many paths to tread

Through shadow

To the end of nigh.

Long long time ago, ur...actually, seems not too long, just in the summer vacation. Thers was an idea flashed in my mind--why not write sth in my MSN space in English. At that time, I was reviewing AW of GRE. In that period, writing articles in English became a habit. And after writing some articles, i could not insist. I think it's too hard, coz English is not our native language, and I believe that English is the language that is not fully evolved. So I gave up the idea proudly under the name of carrying forward Chinese.

However, today, when I was listening to the lecture of Fudan University- Financial Times- Credit Suisse Finacial Journalism Programme, I suddenly realized that, English, in the situation of globalization, became a unavoidable issue. Maybe, English is not fully evolved, nevertheless we should get use to it. Listening to the English , writting in English should be a habit of our new generation.

But...I know that, only by myself, I could hardly insist on writing in English in this BLOG. So...I invite my dear schoolfellow in Xiamen University who is also the expert in English writing--Nancy. HAHA, I consider that her join would be a great chance to help me stick to writing in English, coz I could learn some skills from her, also some academic articles.

OK, BALABLA wrote so many words, just as a good start. Chinese motto said "A good start is half success"

He came when the night was still;he
Had his harp in his hands,and my
dreams became resonant with melodies.

Yes. I am gonna to sleep and have a good dream. It is night dream,however.

Actually, when papaya asked me to write an English blog with him ten minutes ago, I was not very serious.  However, a voice just came to me "Why not". Yes. Why not? So I sent the message:" Good idea. I am in." And that should be a provenance.

"Bluegate Crossing" comes from our favorite movie.It is about young days, first love and athrob feeling. That is a time we miss so much and want to recur to.

However, we are still young, aren`t we? Although the world is now getting worse and worse, what we can`t give up is dream and hope. We dream then we hope. There must be chances for us to change. And there must be changes for us to make.

Let`s start our journey, to the Bluegate. It is

Sometime.Somewhere.